im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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