Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
