Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
