Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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