I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
