my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I currently don't understand fingers.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
