my mouth tastes like poor choices
I smell stomach acid.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
