Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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