You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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