Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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