you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
