she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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