She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
