Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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