The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
