I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
