yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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