I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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