ya dads aren't the best wingmen
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
