I heard we made out
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
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It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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