oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
