Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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