i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
