i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
