4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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