I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
