you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
