There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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