are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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