So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
