We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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