so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
