we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
