im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
