problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
