Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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