My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
