I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize