I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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