Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
