The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she peed on how many people?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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