singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
