You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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