capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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