you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
