Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
