Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
