reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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