Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
