so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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