i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
