your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.