So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
