so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
