Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
