I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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