I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
