Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
