barbara walters just said penis...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
