Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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