Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
